“A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don’t want the cat shut in the house because “she” always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn’t want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.” A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ he says, as they drive away. ‘Stupid bi+ch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat a$$ downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'”
Thanks to my friend in New Jersey for that.
Having said that I love cats, especially when they’re fresh out of the wok 😛
Actually I have to confess, I love my cat, her name is Ripley. She’s named after Sigorney Weavers Character in the Alien Movies, and true to form my cats goes around killing anything that moves! She’s a great bird hunter, don’t know how many times I’ve had to clean up what remains of the birds she’s brought in.
My other halfs cat is a good Mouser, she just goes for them oh and Frogs, she has this weird thing for frogs, and both of them love lizards, one of them caught a blue tounge and left it on out door step! I don’t really like my missus cat, she’s old and incredably lazy, I don’t know how many times I’ve had to scoot her out to the toilets because she just can’t be bothered going in there and the smell, whoa, I thought my missus was bad *runs ducking for cover*. My cat goes outside all the time, either that or straight for the fresh kitty litter, such a good cat my ripley is!
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