Firstly im absolutely knackered, have a look at the time of this posting (3:18am) Sorry if it seems like a long sensless ramble 🙁
Drove to see her (like she wanted) That was apparently wrong 🙁 I know now that she’s killed our relationship though I had suspicions, I needed to find out for sure.
A whole day today trying to help her revise uni work by doing things about the house for her, then after she’s done a good lot of work, drove to the cinema in Cabot Circus (Bristol) which I pressured her into.
The long and short of it is, After thinking “Fcuk it im going to bed” woke up to her sat up in bed looking forwards with the light off, just waiting to have a “discussion” Which is essentially an argument in which im always wrong and she lists all the things ive done wrong.
All this at 1:30am after 5 minutes I said “right I didnt come here for this, I came to try and make you happy which obviously failed. Im going home” Gathered my things together while her flatmates looked out their doors totally shocked (I may have lost my temper saying im going home) walked slowly to my car thinking (hoping a little) she’d follow me and stop me and say she wants me and needs me, some proof that she’d fight to keep me. Nothing. I got a text saying “I do care i worry you driving when you’re not calm, come back and lets sleep on it xxxx xxxx” just as i was out the other side of bristol and on the M32 which I ignored, no way was I going to go back to her.
Im still shaking but im home now, in my own bed and in my own house. I think its time I started broadening my horizon though im sure the tears will come tomorrow I know I can be proud of myself in that I stuck to what I intended to do and didnt give in and go back.
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