nJayMUgh oh no that may suit some but isn’t going to help is it?
Ugh! oh no that may suit some but isn’t going to help is it?
If you felt it useful to ask her father before marriage then stay with that plan it is still nobler and will or may win in the long term.
The babies can be when and if wish to have them.
nJayMI have tried to objective in my responses
Hi guys,
I have been with my partner for two years now, and I love her so much that I have finally decided to ask her to marry me. One question though, her father looks down on me as I don’t earn as much as her and due to not spending much time around him, knows very little about me or my relationship with his daughter.
With this in mind, I was wondering should I ask for his “approval” or “permission”? I have already attempted to “have a quiet word” so I could speak to him about it, but he has been non-responsive to these requests to talk together.
Every time I am around him, I feel that…while he talks to me with as much respect as anyone talks to someone they know…he has no respect for me.
Every other member of her family praise me. I am close with her best friend and this lady threw her arms around me when I told her my plans…I very much doubt this would be her dads reaction.
With the planned proposal date close (this coming Friday) and knowing that she would like me to have asked before I ask her, I would like your thoughts on the matter.
Did you ask the parents? Or are you a married lady who would like to contribute her thoughts on the matter?
Hi Dr Pepper,
I am providing these observations without prying into circumstances hence some may be relevant others not. They are in some cases worded as questions but they are for you to ask yourself. I nor this forum require the answers.
1) First of all are you and your girlfriend from the same origins ?(i.e. same cultures, religious [if it is significant in either family], social background [can matter with older generations in some cultures]
2) You mention income (her’s higher than yours) – this can be significant to some father’s – the old unsaid words in Christian marriage vows and the father’s own ego and experience – head of household, bread-winner, etc
3) Is the income situation one that will improve in your case if you relocate ?
4) Have you actually got engaged, and if so what was the father’s reaction to that?
5) If you haven’t maybe that process would be something you can monitor his reaction to?
6) You state that the father is avoiding one to one or serious conversations, not the best sign, but he may just be possessive.
7) Is your girlfriend the eldest or first to settle with a regular boyfriend?
8) Is your girlfriend an only child and/or only daughter ?
9) Your gut feelings say that her father has no respect for you. Is this because he is professionally (qualifications), in his opinion, more superior to you? Or is he a self made man who looks down on you possibly because you have used your brains academically before commencing real work?
10) Friends of your girlfriend showing their appreciation of your intent doesn’t have to be the reaction you should expect from her father.
11) What does your girlfriend think about the matter?
12) Does your girlfriend know why her father is reacting the way he is doing?
13) Why does it have to be this Friday ?
14) If you discover that her father is possessive for reasons of his daughter’s profession ie Medical doctor, nurse, health care professional,etc. That may be because he wishes her to stay near the ‘fold’ for selfish reasons (care for parents when her parents get older). You must with your girlfriend discuss the pros and cons of where you will live after you actually marry. If the problem is as stated then the further you go the better as then the parents can be cared for by the medical professionals without personal feelings getting in the way of clinical decisions.
15) It is a very noble thing you have decided to do and your girlfriend is the best to guide you or break the ice with her father and test the reaction. Then depending on her advice you ask his permission or simply tell him your plans.
Good luck but if you really love her and can solve the income stream then go for it (if your girlfriend is game) and move the ‘hell’ far away out of harm’s way knowing the rest of the family wish you well.
nJayMI have tried to objective in my responses
Hi guys,
I have been with my partner for two years now, and I love her so much that I have finally decided to ask her to marry me. One question though, her father looks down on me as I don’t earn as much as her and due to not spending much time around him, knows very little about me or my relationship with his daughter.
With this in mind, I was wondering should I ask for his “approval” or “permission”? I have already attempted to “have a quiet word” so I could speak to him about it, but he has been non-responsive to these requests to talk together.
Every time I am around him, I feel that…while he talks to me with as much respect as anyone talks to someone they know…he has no respect for me.
Every other member of her family praise me. I am close with her best friend and this lady threw her arms around me when I told her my plans…I very much doubt this would be her dads reaction.
With the planned proposal date close (this coming Friday) and knowing that she would like me to have asked before I ask her, I would like your thoughts on the matter.
Did you ask the parents? Or are you a married lady who would like to contribute her thoughts on the matter?
Hi Dr Pepper,
I am providing these observations without prying into circumstances hence some may be relevant others not. They are in some cases worded as questions but they are for you to ask yourself. I nor this forum require the answers.
1) First of all are you and your girlfriend from the same origins ?(i.e. same cultures, religious [if it is significant in either family], social background [can matter with older generations in some cultures]
2) You mention income (her’s higher than yours) – this can be significant to some father’s – the old unsaid words in Christian marriage vows and the father’s own ego and experience – head of household, bread-winner, etc
3) Is the income situation one that will improve in your case if you relocate ?
4) Have you actually got engaged, and if so what was the father’s reaction to that?
5) If you haven’t maybe that process would be something you can monitor his reaction to?
6) You state that the father is avoiding one to one or serious conversations, not the best sign, but he may just be possessive.
7) Is your girlfriend the eldest or first to settle with a regular boyfriend?
8) Is your girlfriend an only child and/or only daughter ?
9) Your gut feelings say that her father has no respect for you. Is this because he is professionally (qualifications), in his opinion, more superior to you? Or is he a self made man who looks down on you possibly because you have used your brains academically before commencing real work?
10) Friends of your girlfriend showing their appreciation of your intent doesn’t have to be the reaction you should expect from her father.
11) What does your girlfriend think about the matter?
12) Does your girlfriend know why her father is reacting the way he is doing?
13) Why does it have to be this Friday ?
14) If you discover that her father is possessive for reasons of his daughter’s profession ie Medical doctor, nurse, health care professional,etc. That may be because he wishes her to stay near the ‘fold’ for selfish reasons (care for parents when her parents get older). You must with your girlfriend discuss the pros and cons of where you will live after you actually marry. If the problem is as stated then the further you go the better as then the parents can be cared for by the medical professionals without personal feelings getting in the way of clinical decisions.
15) It is a very noble thing you have decided to do and your girlfriend is the best to guide you or break the ice with her father and test the reaction. Then depending on her advice you ask his permission or simply tell him your plans.
Good luck but if you really love her and can solve the income stream then go for it (if your girlfriend is game) and move the ‘hell’ far away out of harm’s way knowing the rest of the family wish you well.
nJayMInteresting though that it was 5-6 weeks ago – anything special on that weekend ?
Interesting though that it was 5-6 weeks ago – anything special on that weekend ?
From what you describe though wasn’t a slick piece of flying.
The guys at work are obviously confused (hungover as usual) or they are simply winding me up.:mad:
nJayMCan’t help – shouldn’t laugh but in reality feel sorry
The same local bin closed a Victorian set of chalets which had become a second Psychy bin. What happened to all the patients – overnight defined as capable of looking after themselves in the community by the collective case conference bum warmers in the NHS.
Okay so out they go into local community dwelling but geographically completely disorientated. Where do they go after being fed and watered at their new community accommodation?
Well where do bees go? To the original hive of course.
We have a regularly seen senior citizen – female in a skirt and blouse, tousled grey hair, Doc Martens lace up and white football socks. Grunting away frightening all kids and infants in push chairs and looking for coins by pressing refund button, accidently left by persons using ticket vending machines. In and out of shops still grunting like a sow in heat.
Another local character – wears a Deer stalker hat with a mass of badges on it. Usual occupation talking to anyone or to himself and looking for coin refunds but more specifically picking up cigarette buts and smoking them.
Then we have the daily star performer. Youngish gets off the bus on his free bus pass, begins screaming profanities along the pavement loud enough for people in upstairs windows to hear. Keeps going walking like a man possessed until he reaches a road to cross. The profanities stop and he looks right, left, and right again and safely crosses commencing of course with the profanities once safely across.
There you have it how the NHS treats people, yours and my relatives/friends maybe, certainly someone’s relatives. Do the bum warmers care – not a yot.
nJayMCan’t help – shouldn’t laugh but in reality feel sorry
The same local bin closed a Victorian set of chalets which had become a second Psychy bin. What happened to all the patients – overnight defined as capable of looking after themselves in the community by the collective case conference bum warmers in the NHS.
Okay so out they go into local community dwelling but geographically completely disorientated. Where do they go after being fed and watered at their new community accommodation?
Well where do bees go? To the original hive of course.
We have a regularly seen senior citizen – female in a skirt and blouse, tousled grey hair, Doc Martens lace up and white football socks. Grunting away frightening all kids and infants in push chairs and looking for coins by pressing refund button, accidently left by persons using ticket vending machines. In and out of shops still grunting like a sow in heat.
Another local character – wears a Deer stalker hat with a mass of badges on it. Usual occupation talking to anyone or to himself and looking for coin refunds but more specifically picking up cigarette buts and smoking them.
Then we have the daily star performer. Youngish gets off the bus on his free bus pass, begins screaming profanities along the pavement loud enough for people in upstairs windows to hear. Keeps going walking like a man possessed until he reaches a road to cross. The profanities stop and he looks right, left, and right again and safely crosses commencing of course with the profanities once safely across.
There you have it how the NHS treats people, yours and my relatives/friends maybe, certainly someone’s relatives. Do the bum warmers care – not a yot.
nJayMWonder which ‘bin’ he popped out of ?
Must have been allocated a task to accomplish at his Community Therapy group session.
The specification may have been something like “Plan to be involved in some charity work”.
Well the ‘Bin’ sure tipped out a grand plan on him and he took Morrisons on his deluded trip.
Funny in many ways – not so funny if you were the guys at Morrisons.
The local former 1000 bed ‘bin’ sends their clients to IKEA to choose or buy cabinets for their kitchen. Talk about real discerning decision making by a psychologically unstable individual – there you have it. Change of mind between Floor 1 and Cash register.
Of course the staff/therapists get paid tidy salaries to sit at meetings and case conferences and analyse the success of their clients as they call it. Morrisons and IKEA pay their staff for the NHS bum warmers to earn their salaries while drifting in cloud cuckoo land.
nJayMWonder which ‘bin’ he popped out of ?
Must have been allocated a task to accomplish at his Community Therapy group session.
The specification may have been something like “Plan to be involved in some charity work”.
Well the ‘Bin’ sure tipped out a grand plan on him and he took Morrisons on his deluded trip.
Funny in many ways – not so funny if you were the guys at Morrisons.
The local former 1000 bed ‘bin’ sends their clients to IKEA to choose or buy cabinets for their kitchen. Talk about real discerning decision making by a psychologically unstable individual – there you have it. Change of mind between Floor 1 and Cash register.
Of course the staff/therapists get paid tidy salaries to sit at meetings and case conferences and analyse the success of their clients as they call it. Morrisons and IKEA pay their staff for the NHS bum warmers to earn their salaries while drifting in cloud cuckoo land.
nJayMUpdate but also see URLs in post
http://www.raf.mod.uk/rafleuchars/aboutus/aircraft.cfm
6 Squadron move from Leuchars to Lossie 2013 ish
So far the only Typhoon Squadron based anywhere in Scotland. I was at the ceremonial handover at last years RAF Leuchars Airshow.
Flying operations at Kinloss cease in a few days 31 Jul 2011 http://www.raf.mod.uk/rafkinloss/
nJayMDifficult airport with respect to wind but 1 hour turnaround delay ?????
Difficult airport with respect to wind but 1 hour turnaround delay ?????
What sort of check was carried out I wonder in that short space of time?
I just flagged never fly Korean Air in my mental notebook.
nJayMNice to know there are some fellow space nuts on the forum 🙂
A development here in the UK is the SKYLON
http://www.reactionengines.co.uk/skylon.htmlA reusable space vehicle powered by air breathing jet-rocket hybrid engines. The engines have been examined by ESA and apparently the concept is sound, prototypes are being constructed.
Essentially the biggest problem is getting into orbit. If we can do that cheaply then anything is possible.
See also http://forum.keypublishing.co.uk/showthread.php?t=109893&highlight=Reaction+Engines
I have met the guys from Reaction Engines – real people with a great background history in the science.
nJayMNice to know there are some fellow space nuts on the forum 🙂
A development here in the UK is the SKYLON
http://www.reactionengines.co.uk/skylon.htmlA reusable space vehicle powered by air breathing jet-rocket hybrid engines. The engines have been examined by ESA and apparently the concept is sound, prototypes are being constructed.
Essentially the biggest problem is getting into orbit. If we can do that cheaply then anything is possible.
See also http://forum.keypublishing.co.uk/showthread.php?t=109893&highlight=Reaction+Engines
I have met the guys from Reaction Engines – real people with a great background history in the science.
nJayMThe Mars trip is still “on the cards” I believe although sadly I will not see it realised.
Why have you planned your numbered entry through the Pearly Gates ?;)
nJayMThe Mars trip is still “on the cards” I believe although sadly I will not see it realised.
Why have you planned your numbered entry through the Pearly Gates ?;)
nJayMI could not have put it better myself, For reasons I am keeping to myself I do have a personal connection to somebody that was harmed by this attack.
Martin
My apologies for hurting your feelings since you have a personal connection to someone harmed by this attack.
I too have family in both Oslo and Bergen who have scores of connections to people harmed in this attack and have spent the days since Friday in shock.
No it isn’t my being an armchair critic but in terrorist incidents it is better to ask questions sooner and plug gaps in response handling before another tragedy strikes.
I withdraw from this thread completely as from now. No turning back.
Jay
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