Finish the sentence………..

I got rather sick off of the Moxie stuff that Col Rohr from the Snowball Air Force gave us, if you remmeber right we were all rather sick for days on end.

At that momenent a Triffeny hit are Hero you know chaps was Col R. a………

sausage.

Turning to the Intelligence Officer, Flight Lieutenant Snapper-Nohare, He enquired “what the hell is that new German Sausage about Spy?”

Snapper, cooly turned towards the minced-testicle threat (not Patty) and stated the bleeding obvious:

“It’s a sausage,”

before whipping out his scanner and politely enquiring as to whether our hero had any pics of his time in the squadron.

“Yes” says he, “but until that thing in your hand is invented I shall leave them to go brown in the bottom of a box.”

“Fine” said Snapper. Now return that bloody purse of frog currency that i know you’ll try and keep now that you’ve been downed – claiming you spent it on cheap wine, fags and salopes, so that I can replace at least one of the multitude of missing ones that you pilot-types keep losing but which I am responsible. You’re all a bunch of irresponsible *******s – as opposed to my new buddy Stormbird262, recently in from the South Pacific with his lovely bunch of coconuts.”

Suddenyl, with a ting-a-ling, Patty flounced in astride a fence.

“Hey Snapper, I see that you are wearing a rather nifty T-Shirt with a ‘Southern Cross’ motif on int tonight”

“Indeed I am, for the second time since July when you were grounded, but in my defence…..

Hurray For Hollywood. As the night events start to get out of hand out of the low mist covering the Air field a dime light was scene coming toward the party, All the lads and Lass were think to themselfs what could it be, then out of no-where came are native friend in his New Morris Dancer regilia with patty in Tow they both turn towards the strange glow when it dawn on are Hero Chuffer that the strange glow was the Huns new………………

…over shoulder bolder holders.

Later that evening back at the airfield, the spirits were high as the Squadron celebrated Chuffer’s return. The drinks were on him and he was soaked through.

Cigarette smoke filled the air, the beer flowed freely, the out of tune piano was played enthusiatically by ‘Trumper’ jones. The evening became night as, to take their minds off the horrors of war, our intrepid pilots sang multiple choruses of……

Morris Dancer Banner that will be hung above the enterance to RAF Biggins for the up coming Dance that will surely be a t rousing time had by all. With that said back to are Hero it seems after his run in with the Gispys has left him asking to be reasign to Bomber Command so he can…………..

Mean while out in the South Pacific are native friend has just enlist into the Queens Own Royal Morris Dancer and is on his way to Jolly old England to be properly trained by………………

add garlic and snails , the german pilot looked round just in time to see the hordes of gypsies descending on his plane,what it lacked in wheel hubcaps it made up for in used bullets,oh Patty why could’nt you have used rubber bullets they don’t have a scrap value.
Oh no theyve nicked my silk parachute,i dread to think …….

..what Janie and Anna are going to do with all that material once they have finished making their Size 16………..

add garlic and snails , the german pilot looked round just in time to see the hordes of gypsies descending on his plane,what it lacked in wheel hubcaps it made up for in used bullets,oh Patty why could’nt you have used rubber bullets they don’t have a scrap value.
Oh no theyve nicked my silk parachute,i dread to think …….

… ‘ave ‘is ‘ubcaps too!”

But thankfully for the German, he was saved the ignomy of having to explain to Herr Goering why his wheels were missing, as Loo-tennant Patty Stevenson swooped down from behind a cloud in his borrowed (at least, that’s what he would later tell the jury) Sea Hurricane, peppering the Luftwaffe fighter with gunfire.

“Danke schon mein Amerikanische friend! You haff safed me from haffing to fight off zose got-damt Chypsys zis mein own Luger!” shouted the German. But then, he realised his plight as the engine stopped. “Ach! Should neffer haff got Renault to build mein Daimler-Benz enchine… blutty French vorkers vill alvays try to… “

fuel,the bloody gypsies syphoned it as he flew past,you wait they will be waiting for it to land so they can………

“…rather face the Germans!”

Which was an unfortunate comment, as, just at that moment, a Messerschmitt 109 roared down the street at rooftop height, cannons and machine guns blazing. The policeman dived into a doorway, while JDK just turned side on and became invisible. The TGB’s (Theiving Gypsy B’stds) however weren’t so fortunate. But hey, this was wartime.

As the 109 passed overhead, the Policeman grabbed JDK and shouted “Run sonny, he’s coming back!”

“Oh no he’s not,” said our intrepid Antipodean. “He hasn’t got enough…

Gypsies as they had descended on the lorry and were trying to remove it and the remains of the contents,”GET THEM “shouted the lorry driver,”no way” said the policeman,they are a law unto themselves,if i were you i would ………

…halfway across Nether Seething on Sea, which was quite an impressive feat given it was some eighteen miles away.

“Good God man!”, shouted the local ‘Bobby’ as he reached for his trusty notebook and pencil. “Don’t you know there’s a war on? We need all the lorries we can get! Now that you’ve broken one, I shall cuff your ears and tell your father!”

“Chiz…” grumbled the tall Australian driver as he clambered out of the wreckage. “Patty’s gonna be right miffed at me now I’ve binned his Morris Dancing kit.” Sadly, he rumaged around for the last remaining bells before asking our friendly Policeman “You got any food? I ain’t had a meal in years!”

“Get away, you scallywag!” roared the policeman, but his shouts were soon drowned out by the raucous wailing of…

That there was no window,it had been pilfered during the night and replaced with a pretend one.
Our hero then ran through the door [he forgot to open it first,silly man]and ran out into the street,but the street had also been nicked [bloody gypies get everywhere].This would explain the loud crash as the lowloader transport lorry had’nt realised this and fell down the big hole that had been left,the lorry spread its load………

He realize that he forgot the shopping list for Lads how was he to remember what type and color they wan’t their knickers to be. As are Hero waits at the recovery site a low drowning sound is heard out of the French Night here comes are fearless SEO pilot and his beloved Lizze. making a lovely three point landing are Hero races to jump on and off the two are to Jolly Good England for Tea and Cakes.

End of Chapter One

Now for Chapter Two and I’ll start it,

Scene is the following.

Are hero fully rested from his adventure with are French friends is sitting in the new AOC office waiting to be debrief about the Patterson Fury when a load crash was heard outside of the windows looking out the windows are Hero was shock to see………….

…..an artificial limb over a Prisoner of War camp where Squadron Leader Nethershot-Athing DFC and two Dangly bits was languishing after being shot down by the huns secret radial engined fighter called the Wishenwashenflippenflappen and losing a leg , Slickbladder was on his way to drop the damn thing when…….

Just as he was being briefed on his mission, the other pilots were given there orders from the co., ice, slider, hollywood, wolfman. maverick, you will get your RIO when your aboard ship,.. and if don’t, call me and I’ll fly with you. :diablo:

Dog House wrong book,

Now back to are story so where were we right Headquaters had call and want Capt. Slick-Bladder to do a secret drop before he went in and pick up are Hero who by now fully rested was getting worried that SOE had forgot about him, back at the Biggins are belove Capt. just gets his first glimps of him secret drop and he is shock to see that he will be dropping…………….

Just as he was being briefed on his mission, the other pilots were given there orders from the co., ice, slider, hollywood, wolfman. maverick, you will get your RIO when your aboard ship,.. and if don’t, call me and I’ll fly with you. :diablo:

Of building this peice of crap he could have design a rather nice Big Round Engine Fighter that some day an Americain Collector by the name of Steve Patterson would come over and Buy. but that doesn’t matter right now because back at SOE are fearless Capt. Slck-Bladder was getting ready to depart to France to pick up are Hero when the phone rang from Headquaters. It seems that headquaters need are Fearless one to do one more job before he went and got are hero. You see Headquaters need to drop a…………

name of God he was thinking when he thought up this flying deathtrap. He should have listened to Daz instead….

Installing a Cow Horn were the up throutle should be then he could be on his way to fame and Glory but instead he is left to ponder what in the………….