Ummm. Yeah. Oops. Perhaps I was thinking of the prototype Spitfire…..I’ll get my coat.

I once had sex with a human. And it was a girl. Gary, her name was. Ah yes. Happy memories. That was worth a ten. One for each second (I had to roll a cigarette after you see).

US Forces were today reeling from a major barrage of Iraqi Spud Missiles.

Said one US Officer, surrounded by troops standing crisply to attention:

“When the chips are down we can give as good as we get, and if they want to take us in battle on we’ll mash them. We WILL find the perpetrators. Perhaps.”

We should all go out clubbing together.

Baby seals.

“the Airfix one at Elvington”

I had a look at a ‘Halifax’ at Elvington last weekend. I didn’t have a look at a Stirling anywhere at any time in my life. Are you not perhaps being slightly over-critical?

“I have a Calcium Carbide lamp , if you piss on the powder the gas is produced instantaneously and ignites VERY easily”

Acetylene usually does. Wouldn’t catch me stick my knob near it.

Toilet bombing? Parking meters? I’m beginning to worry here…..mind you, could have a good weekend on the piss together!