I read somewhere that two AN-2’s and a Cessna could not take off before 00.00 LT for some reason and were refused T/O afterwards because from that moment Tempelhof was not an airport anymore. Now they have to be transported out of the not-an-airport by truck. Anyone knows the full story?

Tillerman.

Albert Hammond, I don’t wanna die in an air disaster.

Tillerman.

I have no Amusing Incidents In The Air, but some pre-flight and post-flight stories which I think are amusing.

One day when we had stormy weather at the airport where I worked, a Short 330 landed wiggling and struggling in a heavy crosswind. The pilot braked hard and when the aircraft came to a stop he immediately turned the nose into the wind -right on the runway! He was scared that his plane would be blown over and requested the pax were taken off the plane and transported to the terminal before he would attempt to taxi to the ramp. When this was done we loaded the plane with sandbags so it could taxi to the ramp.
At another occasion when we experienced a storm, another square beauty, a GAF Nomad, was parked on the ramp. It was bouncing a bit around and our supervisor told one of my collegues (my brother, in fact) to put some extra chocks at the main landing gear. So he went out and executed the order given to him. When he turned his back and walked away, the wind picked up the left wing and blew it over. It was leaning on the right wing now. When my brother came back into the office he had a big grin on his face and said “chocks are in place, boss!”.

A couple of years ago, when I was a Ramp Supervisor, one day an Antonov-12 came in and we had to load it. A few weeks earlier a new bunch of ramp-rats had joined the handling company I worked for. One of them pointed at the old Antonov and said -with a very sure voice- “you know, that’s actually an old Russian bomber. They just welded the bomb doors shut and started flying cargo with it. If you crawl on your knees under it you can see the bomb bay doors”. Well, what can you say to someone who is SO sure of his own wisdom?

I once opened the hold of a 737 and stood face to face with a bewildered German Shepherd. The dog had done quite some damage to the bags. I found the owner and gave her special permission to enter the hold to calm the dog and solve the situation. She calmed her doggy and walked it into the arrivals hall.
On another occasion a couple of Icelandic ponies escaped from their cages, went for the airport restaurant and one of them stampeded into the kitchen. The entrance was airside because we took delivery there for airline catering. Was hilarious. Another funny one: once we just had offloaded a couple of ostriches, and a two of them escaped. Our teamleader grabbed one of them by the neck and jumped on its back. And off the ostrich went, with our teamleader bobbing up and down on its back. None of us, the team, tried to stop the ostrich. We couldn’t, because we were rolling on the ground with laughter. And we liked the sight of it , to be honest.

Some cargo A/C had a couple of seats installed just behind the cockpit. On most cargo flights I handled, these seats were occupied by couriers, family members of the crew, people who had to travel along with the cargo to accompany (like race horses, a load of gold, or banknotes!). Sometimes, when you put some effort in making friends with the crew and they got to know your face, you could try to hitch a ride; sometimes that can be allowed at the captain’s discretion. I’ve seen that happen. One time a not-so-popular person (he was well known at the airport where I worked) wrote a letter to the managemant of a cargo airline to ask for a free flight. He got a letter back that granted him the free flight. When the aircraft (a 707) was loaded and ready for departure he walked up the stairs and told the captain “look, Ive got written permission from your management to fly with you. Where can I sit?” The captain was obviously flabbergasted by this approach, and took the letter from the guy. Then he did tear it to pieces and told the guy “well, it seems you don’t have a letter from my management anymore…” Captain’s discretion works both ways!

While working on the ramp one of my duties was aircraft cleaning. I’ve seen my part of what a mess people can create -intentionally as wel as unintentionally- during flight, but one evening was a memorable occasion.
That late autumn evening I had the pleasure of having to clean a Fokker 50 from Maersk Air that had flown through VERY hefty turbulence. The passengers came off very shaken , with looks of utter disbelief on their faces. One of them was separately taken away by an airport authority vehicle because a fellow passenger had vomited so fiercely and so much on his suit that he had to undress in the lavatory and left the plane only with some blankets to cover himself. We delivered his suit in a plastic bag afterwards.
When my team entered the plane to clean it, we couldn’t believe our eyes. The flightdeck crew were all nervous and frantically thumbing through the manuals to find out which parts of the airplane had to be checked for structural damage. The cabin attendants were sitting in the rear and one of them was crying, the other one covering his eyes with his hands and shaking his head.
The interior looked as if the a/c had flown upside down. All barf bags were used to the limit and we found them everywhere (full, that is), but there were obviously not enough of them; vomit was everywhere, dripping (yes, dripping) even from the ceiling, the walls, and the windows. All books and leaflets were strewn over the floor and chairs. All chairs were covered with the remains of the meal that had just been served and partially consumed, as was the floor. And the smell…. unbelievable. We had these little spray cans with “nice artificial pinewood smells” and we sprayed three of them completely empty, but it didn’t help that much.
So, we started to clean the mess. Cleaning in this case meant that we threw everything that wasn’t bolted to the airframe in garbage bags, as it was drenched in goo.
Meanwhile, the cockpit crew had contacted their company by telephone for advice. When they returned we were told to stop cleaning. They would ferry the a/c to homebase, it would go straight into maintenance to undergo a check and receive a completely new interior…… So we provided the crew with plenty of spray cans for their 2 hour flight home and off they went, still very nervous. I understood one of the cabin attendants resigned the same evening she returned back home, and never flew again.

Apart from various passenger aircraft I once was offered a flight on an AN-12, loaded with cattle. Quite an experience! Before T/O the captain invited me into the cockpit. All seats were occupied of course, but I was told to stand behind the captains seat and hold tight onto the frame of said seat. As the weather and forecast was calm, I decided to take the challenge. I stood there for the entire flight, some 50 minutes or so. I had a great view as the flight kept a low altitude; the cargo hold is not pressurized, only the cockpit and the crew quarters fwd of the cargo hold are pressurized. Was my most memorable flight ever.

Tillerman.

Hopefully someone manages to get some video and posts it up on youtube or other.

Sorry for digging up such an old thread, but you asked for it:

http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=3AYLGmzyLiM

Tillerman.

Obviously someone at Irrland has a soft spot for old aircraft. Pictured in Irrland, Twistleden by leines123:

Is it a fun-park or something like that?

Tillerman.

Born some 1500 m away from Rotterdam Airport, then under construction
Attended opening ceremony of Rotterdam airport, 2 1/2 monts old in a buggy (but I don’t seem to remember a lot about that)
Did a lot of modelling, mainly Airfix and some Heller too
From 1979 to 1999 worked at RTM with an aircraft handling company (cleaning/loading/catering/aircraft towing/toilet and water service guy etc)
1999 to 2001 ramp supervisor at RTM
2001 to 2003 aircraft dispatcher still at RTM
…. and there it ended. Servisair RTM was taken over by Globeground who decided to close down at RTM in 2003. Handling services were taken over by Aviapartner. I sent a job application, but was considered “too old”, whatever that means.

Tillerman.

Cessna P206 Super Skylane PH-KFF, in the second half of the sixties.

Tillerman.

On October 30 last year, I was driving home. To get there, I have to drive a stretch of road which is atop a dike. The road is very narrow; my Land Rover just fits and then there is about 10 cm space left on either side.
I have driven that road a hundred times with no fear and no incidents. But then, on that day, without any reason or warning my front right wheel went off the tarmac. I turned the steering wheel opposite, but a tad to much; I went off the dike on the left side of the road and went down the escarpment which is very steep and about 5 meters high. The car toppled over and slid through the weeds into the muddy water which was about 70 cm deep. The car came to rest on its right side, with he the water flowing in through the windscreen which had broken. So there I was, hanging in the safety belt, just above the water. Wthout thinking I undid the belt, stepped into the water and smashing my foot through the right door window. I stepped out of the car through were the windscreen had been and with lightning speed climbed out of the water and up the escarpment to safety. From there on my brain took over, I called the police, arranging the salvage of my car (which was totalled), etc.

A picture of my car and the dike it was rolled off, taken a couple of years ago:

Two months after the accident I noticed that my job became increasingly difficult. Without noticing it I had developed a fear for driving, which became increasingly inconvenient as my job means driving buses full of people as safe as possible from A to B.
Also some unfinished business from the past had been triggered to play up again, and I had to go on sick leave. I really was scared to death while driving a bus, and any vehicle for that matter. Also my mind was bothered with what would have happened if my wife had been with me in the car. I drove that dike frequently while my wife was sitting next to me, and I’m still not sure if I could have saved her from drowning in that case. You will never know that, no matter how big a hero you think you are.

Of course, this situation had to be solved ASAP, so I went to a psycho-therapist for assistance. With his help I was ‘on the buses’ again within two weeks, altough the therapy lasted for about three months. I had ‘Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)’-therapy, which worked very well. The therapy is quite an amazing phenomenon, it is not yet fully understood why it works, only how: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_Movement_Desensitization_and_Reprocessing

So, lets hope I have some of the 9 lives left!

Tillerman.

Tillerman.