When I worked in the I.T. Dept of our Local Authority, we had a rolling program to replace PC’s every 3 years. Now, this is fair enough for some users and departments, who may have to keep up with software updates etc but we were also rolling out the same high spec machines to departments which had users who only used them for emails etc.

When I pointed out that we could save thousands by refurbishing the used PC’s for such users, I was told that this would make the department heads feel de-valued.

On another tack, I also pointed out that, being paid as computer professionals, it made no sense to have us spending time on basic clerical work when we could employ someone to do it at half our hourly rate. This was especially galling as we had to bring in contractors at £800 per week because we couldn’t keep up with our substantive work.

For my trouble, and for embarrasing my line manager, I was told to do even more clerical work.

I’m happy to say I no longer work there

Fill it with mission statements and Council Newsletters. Or better still, spend the money on asphalt instead.

As a Landlord, I got an email from the Council. It took some effort for two of us to decipher the councilspeak gibberish, but the jist was that I could get a grant towards replacing electrical appliances – fridges, freezers etc. in my properties. They’ll only consider the grant if I throw away WORKING appliances.

So, I sent them some gibberish in return.

Dear xxxx,

Whilst I appreciate that my council tax is no doubt well spent on the production of mission statements, PDF files and other such informative communications by people who are otherwise underemployed but are currently very busy turning green, I feel I must inform you that, shameful as it may be, none of my properties are green. They vary from sandstone through a shade of non descript beige to a kind of off-white. As for the electrical appliances therein, the usual term is ‘White Goods’ and this is a pretty fair description. I admit I haven’t done the sums but I can’t see any benefit from throwing them away to replace them with something green.

I don’t even have a green carpet although I think I may have some green towels in a cupboard somewhere. They were probably a wedding present from someone my mum invited. You say you’re getting married and next thing you know, your wedding is full of people who you don’t know but who your mum thinks will be insulted because someone else you don’t know gets invited too. Next thing you know, they have to buy a present, but not one that costs more than the meal and the glass of cheap champagne they expect. If it were up to me I’d just go to the Registry Office and sod the lot of them but I’d never hear the end of it. Can I get a rebate for three toast racks, a hostess trolly and a hideous 3×2 foot print of some white horses galloping on a beach at sunset? Rather than put them to landfill, as a green solution I could donate them to the Council because they’re just taking up space I could use in my towel cupboard. I’d put them in my rental properties but I don’t think my tenants would give them houseroom and more importantly, I don’t think they’d want to pay extra for having them.

Anyway, if it helps, my car is green although I can’t claim that I chose it specifically for its colour, it just happened to be the only car on the forecourt in my price range and I don’t drive it much. It’s not that I’m trying to save the planet, it’s just that, what with council tax and green taxes to pay for people to make up mission statements and so forth, I can’t afford to put much petrol in it.

Regards,

And mine. I’m hoping for the announcement of a major find.

I’m p***** off having just installed a wood burning stove. At the moment I can buy oak barrel staves at £25 for a pallet load but a new local biomass plant is likely to consume the lot and most of the local forestry produce too, pushing up the price of wood. So, not only do I get to pay more for wood, I get to pay a subsidy to keep the biomass plant viable and the icing on this particular unpalateable cake is the huge increase in lorries going through the village.

So, after spending a small fortune on installing the stove in the hope of ending my dependence on the energy companies they still have me by the short and curlies.

The only thing windmills reliably generate is income for the operators and landowners. Living in the flickering shadow of these white elephants, we pay a premium for ‘green’ energy, and a tiny portion of our own money is then filtered back in the form of community grants which are supposed to compensate for having our landscape destroyed.

I would suggest that if they are such a good idea and in the national interest, then there is a strong case for using compulsory purchase orders to secure sites rather than using consumers money to pay landowners for the use of what is generally low value land. It would be interesting to see how landowners would react to a compulsory purchase in order to erect a windfarm. Would they be as green about it as they are now and be altruistic or would they object to the landscape being destroyed?.

Whilst walking the dog and the wife in the woods near Boars Head some years ago, I found a broken droptank under the trees. Inside it were a number of ‘specialist’ porn mags.

I also found a mortar bomb stuck in the ground near the shingle beach which I presume was used as a range, as in the right light with the sun low in the sky, it was possible to make out craters in the shingle.

On another occasion we disturbed the TA playing hide and seek in the woods.

A great many scientists believe something similar. The Bouncing Universe.
The theory’s premise involved having a universe come into being with a big bang, expand for a while, and then implode at a certain point in time. Upon reaching reaching a certain small size (maybe even a singularity), that universe may “bounce” and re-explode in a new big bang. As a result, the universe follows a cyclical pattern of expansions and contractions.

Now that sounds like a good idea – rub it out and start again.