Which half…from the wallet down???

No,the Scots half’s just prudent like Gordon Brown.It’s the English half that’s tight .

You could always ask them if they’d like a photo so that they will recognise you the next time you visit. Oh sorry it’s only my mad jock of a wife who does that.

So she’s a shock jock ? Mr. Bee’s half Scots and he thinks Nessie’s real .

Some people were born old and some never grow up.It’s tough if you’re one of each type.

I never thought Nessie was a she – it’s big and scary so it’s probably a very lonely boy .

Steve …i think this one passed over a few heads!!!

Now ,now ,don’t be rude about the old girl.She’s a role model for thousands of women my age – of what not to wear .

” Vertically challenged ” to you.I’ll get back on the wedding cake now .

I don’t know – some people just have no sense of adventure, or was hanging around after nightfall just a little too adventurous for your liking?

No it wasn’t you cheeky sod,but hubby turns into Mr.Magoo if he has to drive in the dark and I never managed to master the fine art of driving myself,far too stupid plus I had to sit on two cushions just to see over the wheel .

Mike,this probably sounds a lot ruder than it should,but I think this is getting too personal to be on a public forum .